


Every Step You Take, I'll Be Watching You

by deaded_blush



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types, Thorki - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Craving, Desire, Doubt, Drama, Gayclub, Happy but ambiguous ending, Loki can be creep, Loki is concept artist, Loki!Bottom, M/M, Minor Violence, Modern AU, More poetic way to describe smut, Obsession, Passion, Sex Tension, Stalker, Stalking, Thor has artistic soul, Thor is hiding he is gay, Thor is tattoo artist, Thor!Dom, Thorki - Freeform, Thunderfrost - Freeform, alternative universe, emotional strain, gayyyy, inspired by a song, my thorki comeback after two years, possesiveLoki, present, sexualtension, thor / loki - Freeform, thor x loki - Freeform, thor/loki!mortals, weird metaphors cuz thor is artist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:25:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12712326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deaded_blush/pseuds/deaded_blush
Summary: Thor is in relationship with Jane just to hide fact he is gay from his family, but he often goes to gay club to watch. He is seeing Loki there but never speaks to him, he is just obsessed with drawing him. One night it changes and Thor approaches and gets himself into something he never expected because Loki is possessive and as obsessed as Thor and definitely not willing to let Thor go.





	Every Step You Take, I'll Be Watching You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! It is me, after TWO YEARS of not writing and two years of being out of fandom.  
> I saw Thor Ragnarok and I didn't like at all what they have done to my beloved Thor and Loki so I guess I just got this feeling I want to feel them again? :D Also, I learned that song "Every Breath You Take" by Police is not about love but about stalker that was obsessed with a singer or something like that and after I heard this song that pretty much made like 90% of this story happen as it was SO inspiring. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PLNsymQi3Y
> 
> Please listen and give it love and enjoy my story! ♥

_He always found raining soothing. Since he was a little child, he felt more like himself when he heard water drops hit the glass. Rain was soothing him and thunders gave him confidence. Not this time. Not this thunderstorm…_

Icy blue eyes stared at the ceiling with a horrified look and he was trying to calm that irrational heavy breathing. He didn’t remember what was the dream he dreamed but he woke up terror-stricken. But just a few more forced calm exhales and inhales and the unfounded fear was gone. The world looked normal again. _Did it?_

This wasn’t his apartment. And an arm on his chest totally didn’t belong to Jane. Soft breathing on his shoulder that he noticed just now, was there from the start. He tilted his head to the side towards the core of that alien warmth coming from another person, blond strands falling from the side of his face.  
Pale face, thin lips softly opened, just slightly so the air was touching Thor’s skin, so alarmingly reminding him what he had done with every new exhale. If anyone asked him what color was hair of the man laying next to him, he wouldn’t say black. Or raven. It was a void. In that strange lightning of the room even sun rays seemed to disappear in those hair. And Thor was startled again… For some foolish silly reason.  
But the man next to him shifted, as if he felt someone was staring at him and his body alarmed him to wake up because he was too vulnerable in his slumber.  
It was just now that blonde man realized they were both naked. And only after those long black eyelashes lifted up veil of sleep from his face and the deepest green color Thor has ever seen was staring directly into his soul, he realized why. 

What was that man doing? No, he wasn’t just staring. He was penetrating Thor’s soul. Judging him? Calculating? Admiring him? Preparing to jump on him and rip those icy blue eyes from his skull? Whatever it was, Thor couldn’t bring himself to words.

 

#### Part I.  
Bewitched  
__________

“No, I definitely won’t be too long. You know me.” blonde smiled with one of his most charming warm smiles and Jane melted in his arms.

“Alright, but even if you are, just be safe, okay?” big brown eyes looked in his face like he was the most precious thing.

Big man pulled her closer, his arms closing around her with affection, but affection that you could feel towards best friend or a sibling. He looked somewhere else because he never liked when she looked “ _too overly in love_ ” with him, if that is a thing.

“I will be. Don’t you worry, just a few drinks. See you later smarty.” he smirked, knowing she hated that nickname but bared with it just because it came from him.

He kissed her on her forehead and gently pushed her jaw upwards with his thumbs to look in her face.  
“I’ll be back soon.” he smiled and she nodded heading to bed, knowing Thor will lock the door behind him.

And blonde did. He made sure door is locked and put his keys in a pocket of his black jeans. Spreading his palm, he stretched hair band around his hand and used it to create slightly messy but elegant ponytail falling on his back, making sure some strands of his long golden hair would fall along sides of his face. After that, he did not think pretty much about anything. Just the slight guilty excitement he felt every time he headed to “ _Heaven’s Gate”._ Jane knew he is going to a gay club. She trusted Thor so much that she would have no problem with believing he was going there just to see his friends that **were** gay. Not him of course. _Of course_.

Although his intentions for late nights spent in the club were not that pure, he had never cheated on Jane. He was a good man. And he was **her** good man. He came there every time to look, not to touch. Sometimes, images of him holding the pale body with raven hair, pinned down under weight of his body would pop up in his head while he was having sex with Jane and it would help him to climax, but he kept foolishly telling himself that as long as it is only in his mind, it’s not worth second guessing. 

Thor paid a fee for entering as every time, already knowing security guy throughout the years, handing money over to him gladly. It was no problem for him with a job as an ascending tattoo artist. The moment he entered, street lights were gone and he was embraced by soothing darkness, lights flashing with unnatural colors, white smoke and music loud enough to kick any possible doubts out of his head. He grinned. It seemed he came just in time, blonde thought to himself as he eyed half naked bodies on the tables, rocking in the rhythm of electric impulses shaped and bent to the sound pleasing to human ears and impersonating lightnings in craving bodies of hungry men. And Thor was very hungry. That night more than other nights.  
He headed to his favorite spot in the corner with a small table and high chair wrapped in a dark blue leather. Big man sat down and pulled out his medium sized sketchbook and a mechanical pencil from his leather handbag, looking around while _You Spin Me Round_ by _Dead or Alive_ started to play. That was probably the last thing anyone would be thinking of doing while in a gay club but as was already said, he came to look. Not to touch. His sketchbook was filled with sketches of naked male bodies in provocative poses. He told Jane it is for anatomy studies and she was either too foolish or just too tolerant to believe him. It was probably his kink or something like that because drawing objects of his desire was turning him on more than anything.

Blonde bit his lip after few confident strokes of pencil on a paper. Black haired man was there again. Watching Thor stealthily but enough for blonde to notice. Thor looked back on the paper but this time with a big grin and bit his lip again. Few seconds later that pencil was making love to the paper. No. No it wasn’t. It was fucking that paper hard, just like Thor craved to do with that familiar yet so mysterious man. Most likely, if that man looked in Thor’s sketchbook, it would creep the living shit out of him since it was so alarming how many sketches belonged to the pale man’s face, images of his body in the most intimate positions. If Jane didn’t look through that sketchbook now and then, he would also draw himself to accompany lonely sketches of the man that Thor considered a living masterpiece, work of art that was sitting just across the room. For now, he was keeping them just in his imagination. He was a good man. And he was **her** man. But in this place, he allowed his imagination go wild. And it would be wild things, indeed, that he would do to the black haired masterpiece that was stealing gazes of blond man every now and then.

Thor ordered drinks, but after a moment of constant annoyance when he had to walk from his spot to the bar to order and bring glasses back and so on and so on, he decided to just get a bottle. He could drink much more than an average person without getting drunk and he was aware of that. Alcohol wasn’t spreading a haze of irrationality around his brain, it was just boosting his confidence. But his confidence had never crossed the line to force him to stop drawing gorgeous man and go to draw with his big hands over other man’s body instead. And it was like that for years. 

Thor used to visit Heaven’s Gate now and then but then one evening, black haired mystery entered the room and from that evening, throughout the years, every time Thor was in the club, he could be almost sure the other man will be there too. He already thought about the fact it might look a little creepy to that man across the room. But he didn’t seem to mind Thor’s attention. It wasn’t like Thor was bothering him or anything. After all, during those 3 long years, he just sat there and drew other man, his mind filled with obscene scenes and all pervert things he wanted to do to him and all that while that actual man just sat on the other side of the room, stealing Thor’s glances and refusing attention of anyone else that would come and try to invite him for a drink. It almost seemed like no one else was worth his attention. Only Thor.  
Blonde ignored tiny voice every time it would try to say it is not normal for two adults to just stare at each other for 3 years without saying a word. Escpecially considering what was Thor drawing into his sketchbook. It didn’t matter. It was just in blonde’s head. _Wasn’t it?_

Blonde was almost at the bottom of the bottle and his sketchbook was filled with five more pages of perverse when he felt something had changed. He blinked more times than would be necessary and his eyebrows furrowed as he slowly looked towards raven haired man. He gulped. During 3 years he had not seen such intense gaze from him. He felt like he was being penetrated, his whole soul being violated. And his instincts did not like that. Thor was natural predator, he wanted to penetrate… He wanted to _violate._

Something had changed. It was so clear he could almost touch it but yet he was so unsure what it was. Did that man bewitched him? That was the best explanation his foggy mind could come up with. Because all of sudden, for whatever reason it was, he felt like he is going to die if he doesn’t kiss that man. If he doesn’t touch him, if he doesn’t make him his own. And all the pale man was doing was just sitting there with his long sleek dark hair behind his ears, leg placed gracefully over other leg, holding transparent glass with unknown liquid that was drowning a cherry at the bottom. His long slender fingers were barely touching that glass and thin lips were forming the most inviting sly smirk Thor had ever seen. That man looked like a masterpiece oil painting so beautiful that it would be hanging in entire gallery wing alone because no other paintings could match that splendor. And Thor’s artistic soul just wanted to fall naked on his knees in front of that painting, touch its frame and worship its colors. Although Thor wasn’t sure about the color of other man’s eyes because of flashing lights, changing that color every second but that was just one of the mysteries he was about to reveal as he grabbed his sketchbook and pencil, tucking it into his leather handbag and grabbing his dark red coat he moved from his comfort zone towards new things. Towards **him**. Thor refused to blame it on alcohol, there had to be something more. He forgot Jane, he forgot the line and crossed it. No second guessing.

#### Part II.  
Doomed  
_______________

It was hard not to notice a smirk on those thin lips forming into pleased smile as Thor walked closer and then amusement dancing along with flashlights in black haired man's eyes since Thor looked a little silly. Big and strong, handsome and charming, hints of his chest muscles beautifully visible under his white tank top, one side of it wantonly tucked in side of his pants that were falling from his hips. But his gaze was wild, needy, greedy and scarred. And just standing there. In front of raven man and nothing else. It was obvious pale beauty swallowed a laughter and tilted his head in an inviting manner, looking right in Thor’s eyes.

“May I help you, big boy?” 

Thor didn’t expect that kind of voice. During 3 years he imagined all kind of voices, but never this deep but yet so silky. Any way or another, it at least awakened him from his hypnosis.

“Eh- I-em, can I sit?” blonde’s frown changed into a hopeful expression as he was able to pull out something that was polite and also made sense at the same time.

“That seat is waiting for you the entire time” man shook his head slowly, pulling out overdone expression to show he didn’t have a slightest problem with it while patting spot next to him twice.

Blonde’s mind decided to ignore that comment and decode it later, when he is sober enough to do so therefore he just sat next to the man, placing his stuff at the edge of the sofa and eyeing man next to him some more. He was wearing tight black pants and opened black shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbows and dark green t-shirt with some symbol that could be of a celtic origin in the middle.

“Loki. Laufeyson.” man suddenly said, offering blonde a hand and once again, Thor was ripped from his fantasy world again as he kept forgetting that he didn’t have to hide there anymore, his fantasy was right in front of him.

Not really sure about what he was actually doing or why, he took Loki’s hand and shook it.

“Thor Odinson.” he said as he just couldn’t stop staring.

Loki smiled and looked away and for a second Thor had a feeling he already knew his name but then he realized it was probably caused by his rude and obvious staring. Loki drank from his glass and licked his lips afterwards, putting glass on the table and blonde licked his own lips instinctively with him, his fingers gripping on his own jeans slightly as he was painfully aware of his need.

“So, em, you come here often?”

 _Yes, Thor, that is fucking brilliant question to ask a man that you have been seeing for 3 years in the same place_ , blonde thought to himself and while his brain was facepalming itself, Odinson was caught completely off the guard as all of sudden, Loki straddled him and pressed his lips against his. And for some reason, that chin pressing against his beard, legs around his thighs and slender fingers in his hair felt like they belonged there despite a fact that Thor was petrified as the last piece of sense in his body tried to scream at him to lift his horny ass and march back home where he had girlfriend that loved him even though he didn't really love her. But Loki’s wet tongue parted his lips and worked its way into blonde’s mouth urgently and the moment it was fully open for Loki to ravish, Thor was doomed.

 

#### Part III.  
Sobered  
___________

Blonde stared into those emeralds and Loki still didn’t do a thing. Raindrops were hitting windows vigorously and that was only sound that was filling the room that was pretty wide but in that moment Thor almost felt the walls falling on him and pushing him towards silence coming out of Loki’s mouth and it was in such contrast with yesterday night as Thor was scared to even think about it now. But he had to. It was reflecting in gems that were Loki’s eyes.  
Pain when he was pressed against door handle of raven man’s apartment and kissed fiercely, how he didn’t care for that pain, just laid Loki down on the floor in the hallway and painted. With his tongue, with his hands, with his entire body he painted over Loki’s, so desperately trying to capture that beauty for himself.  
Joy after he filled Loki for the first time, raven hair falling down pale back anchored as he was pressing against tan muscles and holding onto golden strands of hair so hard that they still hurt even now. Moans escaping shamelessly from thin lips, echoing in Thor’s ears so much that it could make him easily aroused again if not for the fear he felt.

Loki blinked but his eyes didn’t move away, fixated on ocean blue orbs, drawing more memories from now sober head. How Thor’s predator needs were satisfied only after third orgasms, and how they did not sleep after that. How they spilled each other’s life stories, finding Loki was a concept artist and that they had a lot in common. How he told Loki things he didn’t even tell to Jane and after that a memory of him telling Loki how much he didn’t want to be with her and kept staying in relationship just because he didn’t want to hurt his dear friend striked like a lightning and his fear took over, slapping him across his face till he was sober because revealing depths of his mind to Loki was more terrifying than revealing his body.

“Look- em….” Thor started, looking away from Loki, searching the room for his clothes.

He was extremely talkative after alcohol but now he was back to his usual and that ment lack of words and a fact that it was impossible to pull something from the whirl of thoughts that was in his mind wasn’t helping at all. He was always better with expressing himself through his art. Not words. And he cursed inside, because right now he could totally use some mind-blowing speech skills.

“I… What we did yesterday…” he was trying to talk.

Not like he knew what he was saying but he didn’t want to give Loki a chance to say something to his defense. To justify what they had done or even change his opinion about that disaster. He didn’t see how Loki sat up, leaning against pillow and the wall behind him crossing his arms, not in an aggressive manner, rather impatient, watching Thor finally find his clothes.

“It was mistake, I-I don’t know what to say, I am so sorry if-”

“It wasn’t alcohol.”

Thor stopped trying to close his pants with shaky hands as his eyes shot to Loki who was looking at him with a strict and impatient gaze, if there was an anger, he wasn’t showing it.

“What?” Thor breathed out, frowning desperately, trying to comprehend what was going on and more importantly, what was about to come.

He wasn’t so great with complicated emotions. He wasn’t good with any complications. His life was perfect and he was doing his best to try to keep it as simple as possible. How could he fuck up this hard? He was putting on shirt when Loki spoke again.

“I know you are trying to blame it on alcohol, but that was not that.” Loki purred again and Thor started to breathe more heavily.

He was looking for his handbag and coat, relieved when he saw them both hanging from a chair, together with his boots leaned against it.

“It was just you had enough drinks to blame it on them, but you were perfectly aware of how much you want me.” silky voice crushed that slightest peace he felt in his soul from finding all his possessions and he looked at Loki, taking a deep breath.

He wasn’t going to storm out or run away without saying a word like a douchebag. He wasn’t an asshole and he liked things between him and other human beings to be clear and simple. He couldn’t help himself. He could never even attempt to make a peace with what he had done yesterday night if he first didn’t make peace with Loki. Thor was fair, and he didn’t blame Loki for what happened. He knew it was his fault and he didn’t enjoy hurting other persons but he knew that was exactly what he had to do should he ever have a chance to get his life to what it was before yesterday.

“Look…” Thor sighed and slowly sat down onto the edge of the bed, Loki not moving not even slightest, his feline eyes never leaving Thor’s face as if he wasn’t afraid of what he had to say at all.

As if he was ready for it. As if he was daring him to throw it all on him.

“I have a girlfriend, I have my life. My family can never find out I'm gay. I don’t know what happened yesterday, I fucked up, yes I know and I am so sorry, trust me when I say that. I am so sorry more than anyone or than I have ever been in my entire life for doing this to you, but I have to go back and I’m not-not going back….” he said last words more quietly and last one was almost impossible to hear as he realized that Loki was giving no reaction.

No, not even a slightest hint of an emotion. Nothing. Just that impatience and strange love-hate scorching emerald eyes. Something about that made Thor unsure, second guessing himself and questioning his own decisions to want his life back which was absolutely ridiculous, of course, but that intense stare somehow made him doubt if he had any life before yesterday night at all.

“First of all, you really do not have to tell me all of that. You already did yesterday-” Loki started and something in Thor shifted unpleasantly as he didn’t dare to look at that man, that work of art that he defiled with his greedy hands yesterday.

“- so there is no need for that. I know how afraid you are that your father could find out you are gay, after you refused to join army as he wished and finishing it with going to art university, Jane is only thing that keeps him liking you-”

Thor frowns when Loki says her name. He shouldn’t. He has no right to say her name…

“-but Thor, it is that girl, you are so much more than that girl. I know you like to keep things easy and simple, especially when things are going so well for you right now, but think about it as a purification and trust me after that things will be even better when you are with someone you want.” Loki lifted his arm in a graceful movement, giving an impression that all of that is a slice of cake.

Thor chuckled sarcastically.

“You think I want you?” he didn’t know where such arrogance came from, but he said it with no thinking, looking at his hands as his smile disappeared. But Loki didn’t say anything for something about ten seconds that felt like ten years, so Thor eventually looked at black haired man and did his best to not show a shock in his eyes. Loki’s expression changed for the first time. He was smiling heartily, amusement mixed with a pity, compassion and affection dancing in his eyes. Blonde definitely did not expect that to see and wondered for a moment why would he see that after what he had said but then another memory striked his mind and he was mortified. He showed his sketchbook to Loki. He showed him three years of his weird obsession with Loki, with detailed descriptions of his feelings he was having while seeing him there. Even how he told him about how he used to imagine him when he had sex with Jane and his cheeks turned red, so did his ears.

“I am really sorry I can’t give you better explanation than this, but I have to go back. I hope you will be alright….” blonde man said quickly and determinedly as he was putting on his coat and grabbed his handbag, making sure his sketchbook, phone and keys were there.

“Where are my-” 

“But you promised you will leave Jane and stay with me.” Loki lifted an eyebrow and Thor turned into a statue for a second.

He said that? _Shit!_

“Where are my keys?” he said, his brain completely dodging what Loki just said because it knew it would be too much for Thor to deal with.

Loki shrugged, looking to the sides with his eyes before they landed fixated on Thor’s face again.

“I don’t know. You came here without keys.” 

_Fuck!_ He had to drop them there somewhere in the club or on his way here.

“Alright… I am leaving now, I hope you forgive me, but you know it was a mistake.” Thor said and headed towards the door on the other side of the room and when he reached for a door handle, Loki called from behind him, his voice entirely different.

“You are not leaving me Thor Odinson.”

That sentence was spoken with such strictness, clearest threat he had ever heard, echoing with menace and dripping with anger. Dangerous kind of anger. Thor stopped again, staring at the handle as if it was about to electrify him if he touched it.

“You belong to me.” sounded from behind him more angrily yet still so freakishly calm.

And that moment haze lifted from Thor’s brain completely. He remembered Loki riding him wildly, being so gorgeous on top of him, but possessive, obsessively touching him, holding him, under thick neck, around his wrists, scratching, biting, sucking his skin, doing all possible and impossible to mark Thor as his own. He knew he had bad feeling about it already that time but he was too turned on to care. _"Mine, mine, mine, mine…"_ echoed in blonde’s ears, just like when Loki held him down, his arm pressing against wide tan chest to keep him down, growling in Thor’s ear those words over and over like a maniac, as if he wanted to hypnotize Thor with it, as if he **needed** to make sure Thor will remember who he belonged to for the rest of his days and only and ONLY then he would let Thor take him and Thor would do it but later because Loki on top was like a hurricane, like the most destructive wonder that ruins everything… Like a _storm._

And that was the moment when Thor’s brain knew it was too much. So he grabbed that handle aggressively, opening door wide and marching outside from that apartment, from that street, from that part of city… From Loki’s life, determined to never look back. He bought a scarf on his way home to hide bruises on his neck, not knowing he had more on his body but he would use Jane’s make-up for that later, hoping that when bruises disappear from his skin, Loki will also disappear from his mind.

____________

Black haired man sighed, his expression loosening for the first time as he sadly looked to the side, but it was not that _my-heart-was-just-broken_ kind of sadness. It was more of a disappointed.

“Difference between me and you Odinson, is that I need one night to get know you. But not even ten years would be enough for you to get know me.” Loki sighed, opening a drawer in his nightstand and taking out Thor’s keys, smirking slightly and finding comfort in silver reflection.

 

#### Part IV.  
Haunted  
__________

 

It was already a month ago. Fortunately it felt like a year ago and Thor was trying to think about it as little as possible. Although sometimes when he was alone, walking to work or back home, having a meal outside or even while working, he would feel Loki’s scent there. His presence or just that heavy and intense gaze he remembered so well. Actually, it was more than just sometimes. It happened to him so many times that it was disturbing and he was afraid he is losing it.  
Sometimes he would even stop whatever he was doing and look around, stop walking and turn around quickly, feeling those emerald eyes on his back but no one was ever there. Guilt he felt from cheating on Jane and lying to her was getting to an unbearable point. Not just lying about that one night but entire life. Lying about his affection, his love, his desires….  
Before that night, Jane and pretty much everyone who knew him believed he is very nice guy with a kind heart who loves to draw and do tattoos, loving his friend from high school and soon will marry her. And he was perfectly alright with that. But after, every time he looked in the mirror he saw a stamp on his forehead that was screaming: _Emotionally unstable, stressed poor thing that loves to draw males in perverse poses and do tattoos, hating to pretend he is straight with his best friend, loving a familiar stranger from a gay club and cheater_. And THAT, was getting unbearable. People could notice. Jane definitely noticed. Therefore she forced him to take vacations from his work and they took off from London to spend a week in Italy, relaxing on nice and sunny beach. She could say Thor needed some relax. And despite everything that was telling him otherwise, blonde really believed when he comes back, it all will be all well. As if THE Night never happened….

 

#### Part V.  
Startled  
______________

 

Thor was whistling on his way to his tattoo studio. He was pretty excited to see his co-workers that were also his friends and talk to them about everything that happened in Italy, ready to listen how they were doing and how was studio doing in his absence. Feeling of being watched was gone and he couldn’t remember being more joyful in weeks. The moment he opened the door on his studio, he was welcomed with merry and loud ovations from his co-workers, Volstagg even forgetting his customer as he jumped up to give blonde big hug.

“O my gods, I am so glad you're back. You have to tell me everything about your vacation you sneaky rascal, leaving us here when people want tattoos like crazy.” bearded man laughed and patted Thor’s shoulder few times before going back to his customer, not wanting a lady to wait.

“Yeah, I will tell you, don’t you worry.” Thor grinned, pleased to hear that business is still prospering and turning his charming smile to Fandral.

“Heey, man!” Thor grabbed his arm and pulled him closer for a hug and his friend returned it, but he didn’t seem so pleased.

“What is going on, man?” Thor tried to give Fandral reassuring smile and he gave it back with what you could call “ _the best attempt for a fake smile”._

“Heyyy…” his friend said through gritted teeth, rubbing his hands and that made Thor frown even more.

“Yea, em… You know…. Some guy was here? He was quite persistent to get to know where you went and what's up with you-” Fandral started but he was interrupted with Volstagg’s laughter.

“O please, he is taking it too seriously!” older man looked at Thor, laughing.

“Just another fan that is desperate to get a tattoo from _Son of Odin_ ’.” bearded man laughed but Fandral didn’t share his amusement.

“Yea, well I don’t think so, he looked more obsessed about… “ blonde man looked at Thor with worried look.

“...about _you_ than about your work.” he said and Thor was just trying to keep his breathing calm while his mind was doing its best to refuse thought of Loki trying to find him.

“How did he look like?” Thor asked, trying to make it sound as casual as possible.

“Long black hair, pale face, green eyes, tall... quite slim… He kinda looked like Tim Burton’s character.” Fandral tried to make it less serious but it was too late.

Thor already knew after first three words it was Loki.

“Yeah, he was here like every day? Like several times per day. I offered him to make an appointment with you for tattoo design session after you come back but he didn’t want to, he didn’t even give us his name.” Fandral added.

“Yeah, weirdo…” Volstagg murmured, chuckling.

“It got quite annoying so I told him I would call a police if he doesn’t stop harassing few days ago and then I didn’t see him.”

“Well, most important thing is that he is gone now, right? Sorry guys, I gotta piss like motherfucker.” Thor grinned and Fandral nodded, obviously pleased that new informations didn’t startle his friend.

Thor didn’t show how much it startled him. How actually fear pierced his heart and it cost him all energy and self-control to act so casually. He locked himself in the bathroom and leaned against the sink, staring wildly into mirror. The stamp was back and Loki was back and everything was back. All the emotions he was trying to bury underneath his smile, all guilt, all anger and that crawling frustration from who he is and what he has done, all of that was boiling like a volcano. Thick vein bulging on his forehead was extremely noticeable and he had feeling if he wouldn’t stop squeezing the edges of sink so hard, he would break it.

“FUCK!” he growled painfully, lifting his fist towards the mirror to hit it hard.

It shattered under force of his hit, reflecting Thor’s grimace in hundreds of small tiny pieces. He felt his knuckles bleeding and just grabbed some scarf that was hanging from red wall, wrapping it around his hand and wildly walking outside, heading towards exit.

“Thor? Thor!” Fandral called to him.

“Sif and Hogun will be here soon!” Volstagg tried to make him stop, but his friend almost tore down the door as he tried to open it, yelling something about him needing some time alone.

 

#### Part VI.  
Confronted  
______________

 _Was this nightmare not about to end?_ Blonde is questioning himself over and over as he walks down the street. He isn’t really sure where he is heading. Sun is about to go down soon and he thinks he might just go and sit on a bench at a bus stop but he freezes. There is a pole with big poster with various beautiful creatures printed on it with blinding huge letters at the bottom of the paper that are saying: “ _Abandoned Ones Expo: Artwork of Loki Laufeyson”._

Thor’s heart skips a beat as he is losing control over his own breathing more and more. He heads to the nearest building, pleased to find out it is a nice and cozy coffee shop. He heads to an empty table and before he can grab menu with his trembling hands to decide what he wants a waitress comes with an excited smile, offering him all kinds of coffee. Thor just nods to the first thing she says and he places his hands on the table, squeezing them together as he is doing his best to calm down. 

_What does this mean? What does Loki wants?_ Really, as blonde thinks about it, what can be there that Loki could want? It isn’t like he can force him to be his boyfriend or something. Whatever sick game Laufeyson is playing, Thor is not going to play it with him. 

Thor tries to listen to the radio to get distracted while waiting for his coffee but song ends the moment he starts to listen. He rolls his blue eyes but calms down the moment tunes start to play from the machine. Thor even lets the rhythm soothe him, finding his foot tapping gently against the floor as he enjoys the melody and thanks the waitress as she places medium sized cup of coffee in front of him.

_“Every breath you take… Every move you make. Every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you….”_

Thor stiffens. Tapping of his foot stops with words of a song that plays from the radio, this time famous and familiar melody sounds ominous and heavy and all Thor’s inner peace is gone.

_“Every single day, every word you say…”_

Suddenly blonde gets goosebumps and he can feel freezing sensation creeping up his spine as suddenly a familiar feeling hits like a hammer and ocean blue eyes turn direction of big glass window of the coffee shop but his body refuses to move.

_“Every game you play, every night you stay…”_

Thor takes a deep breath as he forces his body to turn, moving his head just slightly to look at a window and there he stands.

_“...I’ll be watching you…”_

Blonde’s mouth twists into painful grin as he tries to bite his lip, clenching his fists. Loki has the same strict and impatient expression he remembers from the day he left him.

_“Oh, can’t you see… You belong to me…”_

He just stares. Nothing else. And Thor feels just as small, just as helpless just like he did in Loki’s apartment, unable to speak, unable to act.

Phone in Thor’s pocket starts to vibrate and ring loudly, making wicked song fade away and scares blonde to death. Thor twitches wildly at that sound and tries to pull it out of his pocket, desperately swinging his thumb over the screen to pick up Jane’s call. He succeeds on fourth try and puts advice to his ear to listen, his eyes instantly fixating back on the window but there is no one behind it anymore.

 _“Thor? Thor! Are you there?! Thor?!”_ female voice he knows so much starts to catch his distracted attention and he is not any calmer from the tune Jane is giving him.

She sounds like she is crying and her startled voice is not making it any easier to understand what she is saying.

“I’m here, yes, Jane, tell me what's going on?” he tries his best to stay calm but it is fucking too much for his nerves.

_“S-someone was in our apartment-”_

“What?! What do you mean, Jane! Are you still there?!”

_“T-there is a-a mess everywhere, a-all our s-stuff…”_

“Okay, just don’t go inside, okay? I will be right there.” he says and hangs up, leaving untouched coffee on the table and pushing phone in his pocket he rushes through the streets, running as fast as he can.

Their apartment is not far and he is there soon, taking stairs by two as he finally gets to the second floor to find Jane with her eye-lines smushed over her face from tears and she runs into him, hugging him tightly and he pets her hair, trying to calm her down but he is not calm himself, staring at a door to their apartment as if a monster was about to jump out any moment.

“It’s okay, I called the cops, they will be here soon, you just stay here okay? I will look. Just stay here, just stay here.” he repeats for her in the most soothing voice he is capable of and she nods, curling up on the stairs to third floor while Thor walks towards their apartment.

It is clear for him that Loki was there right after opening the door. Their suitcases from vacations are still near the door where Jane left them after finding their apartment in such devastation and blonde steps over them to get closer to the living room that is one big mess. Book shelves are on the floor, books are laying all over the place, broken lamps which makes place pretty dark and their sofa is pretty much torn into pieces. But most disturbing part of all of this are big letters painted on the wall with black paint saying: _You belong to me._

It is crystal clear Loki was there. And Thor hated himself for being unable to think about how this will affect his relationship with Jane, how this will affect Loki since he called cops on his way there and how it will affect him…. All he could think of was how much easier and maybe even how much more pleasing it could be if he just broke up with Jane in peace and went to live with someone who understood him and loved him for what he was not for what he pretended to be.

“Thor?” Jaine’s voice is trembling like a bird caught in a grip of a beast.

When blonde turns around, it is terrifying how much that metaphor is accurate. Loki stands behind her, holding her with one arm around her neck and with a gun pressed against her head in other, watching Thor carefully. Jane barely breathes, staring at Thor desperately.

“I don’t assume you told her.” Loki starts and Jane looks slightly to the side, trying to see Loki but fails.

Thor inhales deeply, looking straight in Loki’s eyes. He might be stressed and bad in dealing with negative emotions, but presence of the gun is taking this reunion to whole another level. Blonde raises his arm slowly and turns his palm upwards. When he speaks, his voice is suddenly clear, not even trembling and he tries his best to sound clear, commanding, strict but also friendly.

“Give me the gun Loki.”

Loki smirks.

“Glad that you still remember my name Odinson.” he says with a coy smile and Thor curses inside how much he is effected by it even now, even in this situation.

“Is that what you want, Loki?” Thor asks calmly, pointing behind himself towards message painted on the wall, ignoring horrified expression on Jane’s face filled with confusion.

Metallic click answers Thor as Loki removes safety from the gun and Jane closes her eyes, shivering.

“You are not going to get me if you kill her. You know that, right?” blonde tries to sound as convincing as possible.

“It is not about getting you, Odinson. It is about revenge.” Loki growls.

“I know you. She doesn’t. You should speak to me much sooner. Staring at me for three years and then you come to share your life and body with me for one night? I told you, Odinson. You belong to me. You did since the moment you looked at me for the first time and you know it.” his gaze is fierce now, scorching Thor’s soul as all the guilt he felt is multiplied and back, hitting in painful intervals.

“What?” Jane squeaks but Loki shakes her violently.

“Shut up.”

Thor hates himself for what he is about to say. But it is only way to save Jane. She would leave him after this incident anyway, there is nothing to try to salvage except Jane’s bare life.

“As you said. You know me Loki.” Thor takes a step closer and black haired man growls pushing the gun harder against Jane’s skull making her cry quietly.

“And you want to hurt me by hurting… _her_?” Thor makes sure word _her_ is pronounced with a disgust, but he stops approaching, his hands in the level of his chest, showing Loki he means no harm.

“You know I don’t love her. You know I was staying with her just to not hurt her feelings-”

“You are hurting her feelings right now.” Loki smirked, obviously pleased by that revelation.

“She will get over it.”

Thor realizes he is the best actor ever when he is pumped with adrenaline and that sentence makes both Jane and surprisingly even Loki look at blonde in a shock.

“But I have hurt your feelings and you are not getting over it. And you are not alone.” 

Loki tilts his head just slightly, his perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowing as he is trying to understand.

“It hurts me too. You couldn’t stop thinking about me? Well, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You know it was you who was in my thoughts when I had sex with her, you know it was you who I always wanted. I just felt like I can't have you.” Thor says and walks just a bit closer, turning Jane into crying mess.

_I am sorry I have to hurt you… But you will live, smarty…._

“But you HAD me.” Loki says, his tune changing.

Laufeyson licks his lips, his hand starts to tremble a little and from his widened nostrils it is clear it is doing something to him.

“I want to have you _again_ Loki.” Thor says, of course just to save the situation, of course just to make Jane safe and unharmed Loki, but undeniable honesty in those ocean blue eyes makes Loki’s lips part as he is about to say something but loud “ _FREEZ!_ ” strikes through the air and then everything goes extremely fast.

World seems to hit speed up button on their lives as Loki turns around and gets a bullet that instantly rips off last pieces of sanity raven haired master piece had left in him and pulls the trigger without thinking, not knowing it found its target in Thor’s shoulder. Blonde doesn’t know what is going on after. The fact he is losing consciousness and whistling in his ears strikes pure terror in his heart. And he doesn’t want it. Because now he can’t fight it anymore, and all he feels is fear for Loki. He can barely think about wishes to keep Loki alive before he is embraced by void, black as Loki’s hair and white and bright as Loki’s skin.

 

#### Final Part  
Lost and Found  
__________________

Loki was alive. And accused. Jane was alive. And living away from Thor for already a year. Of course, he had to tell her the truth and after what happened, she didn’t want to even see blonde’s face. He didn’t blame her. He could thank Loki for the fame though, because his glory raised with staggering tempo after that incident. Now Thor lived in the center of the city, high in the sky and he was gazing upon city below him with unusual sorrow. Above them all and like a god yet lonelier than ever before.

Blonde sighed and adjusted his grey jogging pants wrapped around his hips and looked into the mirror, searching for a scar on his bare chest. His fingers touched it and he smiled with strange bittersweet feeling that was already so familiar to him. That bullet was only thing Loki left for him. And sketchbook filled with Loki’s images that was hidden in Thor's nightstand. It didn’t matter to him how much pain Loki caused or what he had done. Thor, was now abandoned and felt so lost and he knew it was exactly how Loki must had felt before.

He headed to his bedroom, sitting on a big bed, maybe too big for just one person, and grabbed remote, turning on big TV on the wall. He was watching news, not listening to what people on screen were saying. In his head, lights were on but no one was home. And then all of sudden, he woke up from his absence, melting the screen with his gaze. Apparently, a patient escaped from an asylum. Thor’s heart skipped.

 _“...twenty-nine years old Loki Laufeyson, former concept artist that suffers mental illness…”_ sounded from the screen and Thor growled, turning it off.

“He is not ill, he was just hurt!” he yelled at the TV, finding himself extremely pissed off, maybe at reporter in news or maybe just at himself because he knew he was trigger to all of that.

Loki knew him. But he didn’t know Loki and regret for that was deep. Maybe Loki was indeed hurt even before. Maybe he had bad childhood, maybe he had mental issues, maybe he was just way too lonely… And Thor could prevent all of that if he only wasn’t caring for wrong people…. Blonde frowned and shook his head as he suddenly found himself wanting Loki to find him again or at least stalk him again. He was not believing what he was doing as he walked towards front door and unlocked it, leaving it like that as he headed to the bed.

________

Thor shifted in his sleep, opening his eyes. Nothing seemed different. Moonlight was giving enough light to the room to make it possible for him to see his room decently. He scanned room when he noticed a figure standing in the door frame.

“You let the door opened?” Loki’s voice was surprised and Thor grinned, his eyes already watering.

“I wanted you to find me.” he said with emotional voice as being in Loki's presence again made him feel joy after a year of ever present sorrow. He noticed Loki was holding a gun, but down at the side of his body.

“What?” Loki breathed out, straightening up.

“I won’t let them find you Loki. I will make things right.” Thor sat up looking at black figure, hoping Loki could see well enough to recognize determination and honesty in his face.

Gun hit the floor as Loki left it behind, walking towards Thor and his opened arms, ready to be loved and taken care of at last.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story, please let me know what you think, I am extremely curious how you liked it as after two years or not writing and even being out from fandom my style of writing has changed.  
> Also let me know if you would like to read more about this AU, maybe what was after this one when they started to live together, bought a chihuahua or whatever xD  
> Really hope you enjoyed and let me know what you think! ♥


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